13 – Annabella’s Leadership Style

RUBBERY SHRUBBERY Post 13

You are entering the world of the Rubbery Shrubbery (RS) blog. Here you’ll learn how the Oregon coastal village of Yachats (YAH-hots) and its inhabitants—called Yachatians (yah-HAY-shuns) or Yahotties (yah-HOT-tees)—obtain a Major League Baseball team. Each episode tells a bit more about this era in the town’s history. To learn about Yachats, please go to this page or go to GoYachats.

Harrison Grutch, who has written nearly every RS post since this blog was born, will be taking a little break now, well-earned or not. In his stead we have Ms. Isabel Stackhollow, celebrated author of the steamy bestselling novel, Festering Hugs and Turbulent Kisses. Having never seen a baseball game, Ms. Stackhollow will have a new, creative slant on things.

Annabella’s Leadership Style
by Isabel Stackhollow

Only three days after the Yachats Smelt were spawned, the Smelt Board of Directors held their first meeting. Well, actually their first was an impromptu muddle in the middle of the Yachats Post Office parking lot. But this was the first official meeting—planned, with agenda and suitable venue.

Since 82 of the 83 directors were co-chairpersons, someone needed to step up and take charge, and that would be Annabella Kowalski, wife of Zeke Kowalski (controversial werewolf hypnotist) and great granddaughter of Edsel Kowalski, the inventor of the Swiss Army toothpick (complete with all equipment needed for dental surgery). No doubt you’ve surmised Annabella’s maiden name was also Kowalski. Oddly enough, she is descended from a long line of women whose maiden names were Kowalski.

Despite that, Annabella was needle-sharp, the perfect person to lead the meeting. She decided to hold it at the Yachats Baseball Field, as she surmised it was the most likely future home of the Smelt.

At this point we should show you a few views of the current baseball field. Please direct your attention to Figure 1 which shows you the whole playing field as seen from the grandstand (note that, although you can’t see it in the photo, the Pacific Ocean begins soon after the magnificent forest in the outfield).

Figure 1. The Yachats Baseball Field -- the whole shebang

Figure 2 depicts the current grandstand (admittedly, the seating capacity isn’t quite up to snuff).

Figure 2. The Yachats Baseball Field -- the current grandstand.

Figure 3 gives you an excellent view of the playing field as the center fielder would see it (note the small incursion of the wetlands park in the foreground). No doubt a few changes will be needed if major league baseball is to be enjoyed on this field, but expenses can be minimized by some workarounds.

Figure 3. The Yachats Baseball Field -- the view from center field.

In viewing these photos the reader might think incorrectly that the Yachats Baseball Field is too small to host major league baseball. Your misconception is due to a mysterious optical illusion illustrated in Figures 4 and 5. Figure 4 presents this illusion in regards to area. The square and the circle appear to be exactly the same size, but your eyes have been deceived by the arrows—the square actually is larger than the circle. You can see how easily the eyes can be fooled.

Now take a look at Figure 5 where we have an optical illusion pertaining to distance. If you think the line on the left is longer than the line on the right, your eyes have been bamboozled once again—as they were when you viewed the photos of the Yachats Baseball Field. (Oddly enough, the illusion in Figure 5 is exactly the same when the figure is inverted and same again when viewed in Albuquerque.)

Now that your eyes have been set right about all this, look again at the photos and you will see that the field is plenty large enough for the big leagues.

As Annabella assembled her Board of Directors in center field of Fig. 3, she issued her first edict, requiring all attendees to stand throughout the meeting. “It shortens meetings and keeps people from falling asleep,” she replied when I asked her about this. “If only I could convince them to stand on one foot…”

It was a perfect day for the meeting. The sun was shining brightly, the sea breeze was set at the right volume, and the Steller’s jays were twittering in the spruces. And Big Bruno Truncheon had carried out a huge whiteboard and set it in the field exactly where Annabella directed him or her to. (Big Bruno is hired by the city to locate and relocate things. He or she is in large part Sasquatch—the city is an equal opportunity employer.)

Annabella could feel the essence of avidity and gumption seeping and surging as she looked out at her directors who stood at the ready—a field full of bodies full of ancient muscles used as often as the quadratic equation. This was destined to be a very short meeting.

Next time: The Smelt Board of Directors get down to business and whiz through amazing accomplishments in a very short meeting. This will come to be known forever in board meeting annals as the “Amazing Smelt Meeting.” And perhaps we’ll see what can be done about that knitting club, too.

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NOTE AGAIN: Dave Baldwin and Eric Sallee are anything but phantom-like. If you think they write the Rubbery Shrubbery blog, you have another think coming. In fact, we hope you have another think coming anyway.

Squiggles Peru, Yachats Smelt right fielder.