RUBBERY SHRUBBERY Post 56
This is the Rubbery Shrubbery blog, where you’ve been learning how Yachats (YAH-hots), Oregon, acquires a Major League Baseball franchise. To learn more about Yachats and its inhabitants—called Yachatians (yah-HAY-shuns)— please go to this page or go to GoYachats.
Today Wumpy Mugwump answers a pertinent question regarding the intersection of the Yachats Wetlands Park and the playing field of Rubbery Shrubbery Stadium (see Fig. 1).
About the crocogators…
by Ashwagandha C. “Wumpy” Mugwump
The Rubbery Shrubbery staff has been swamped with questions about the crocogators that allegedly once inhabited the wetlands occupying right and center fields of Rubbery Shrubbery Stadium (see Fig. 2). I have been asked to clear up this matter.
Figure 1. Intersection (X) of the Rubbery Shrubbery playing field and the Yachats wetlands.
So, what happened to the crocogators in the Yachats wetlands? There are several hypotheses rampant. One is that, years ago, an unidentified huge corporation released a pack of Genetically Modified Muskrats (GMMs)** in the wetlands to get rid of the rare but pesky crocogators. If so, it seems to have worked, but perhaps with unwanted side effects. No one has seen a bear or cougar in the wetlands for years.
Figure 2. Wetlands in right field of Rubbery Shrubbery Stadium.* Notice that no crocogators, bears, or cougars are to be seen.
Another suggestion comes to us from reptilian shrink Dr. Ping Pong Pattiwack who has studied the crocogator brain assiduously. Dr. Pattiwack’s research shows that the crocogator has an enormous ego—perhaps the largest in the animal kingdom (not larger than those in other kingdoms, though, for the dandelion and several species of algae have egos you wouldn’t believe).
The inflated ego of the crocogator has a valuable purpose—it enables the reptile to float like a nonchalant log. But Dr. Pattiwack points out that such egotism results in self-extinctive behavior in any species unfortunate enough to be inflicted. He assures us that reptiles are not immune.
A far less likely explanation for the Yachatian crocogator demise is that its time had come. It was just meant to be.
At any rate, I’m glad I could put your mind at ease should you choose to play right or center field at Rubbery Shrubbery Stadium. (But remember to wear a life jacket.)
* Actually, this is the Everglades. U.S. National Park Service Photo by Rodney Cammauf.
** Genetically Modified Muskrats (GMMs) should not be confused with the popular rock band having the same name.
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Is the crocogator any relation to the ancient agitator
Bob, yes, the crocogator is a distant cousin of the ancient agitator, and the striped instigator, too. Strangely enough, the opposite is also true.
That is masterful, Ashwagandha. The ultimate explanation right up front. “It’s time had come; it was meant to be.” No dithering with little partial, intermediary science-type explanations along the way. Inquiring minds would just keep asking “But why? But why?” after each one till you’d finally get down to bedrock. Final explanations like this really do speak to deep minds and little kids both. Thank you! Puzzle solved.
Wow! It sounds like I hit the old nail on the head. I’m tickled…ooops! I was about to write “I’m tickled puce” but my trusty computer has informed me that puce is the French word for: “The color of bloodstains on linen or bed sheets, from a flea’s droppings or after a flea has been squished.” Those French are so romantic! Anyway, thank you for inflating my ego. — Ashwagandha (Wumpy)