33 – How We Spent Our Vacation

RUBBERY SHRUBBERY Post 33

This is the Rubbery Shrubbery (RS) blog, informing you about Yachats (YAH-hots), Oregon, and its inhabitants—called Yachatians (yah-HAY-shuns)—as they acquire a Major League Baseball franchise. To learn more about Yachats, please go to this page or go to GoYachats.

The previous post of this blog was dedicated to the vacation plans of the RS staff. This time we report on how those plans panned out.

How We Spent Our Vacation
by the Rubbery Shrubbery staff

In random alphabetical order:

Bebe Broadbent traveled down to Duck Egg, Oregon, to visit the world famous Oregon Artificial Botanical Gardens. Her first couple days of basking in bogus nature to recharge her batteries went well, but then she basked too long and fears she might be overcharged.

Wumpy Mugwump intended to sit in a rocking chair on the front porch of the Cannibal Hotel in Cannibal Mountain, Oregon, and count migrating dragonflies. But he became bored waiting for the first dragonfly to show up, so he headed over to Shaggy’s Tavern for some ballroom dancing. There he hooked up with Phyllicida Thronk (see which), and the two of them waltzed and tangoed ‘til the cow came home (it’s a one-cow town).

Harrison Grutch lit out for Migraine Springs, Texas, a town that’s hankering to be the Smelt’s spring training site. He’ll be telling us all about his natural adventures there when he posts the next post of this blog.

Isabel Stackhollow was set to begin a seven state tour to promote her latest best seller Solving Problems with Expletives, but her car wouldn’t start.

Big Forbes Crossbowe drove to Wishing Well, South Dakota, to compete in the Jigsaw Puzzle Championship Tournament. He was wowing the spectators with a magnificent performance until supposedly “caught” with a “skeleton key” puzzle piece up his sleeve. Although he insisted he had never seen that particular bit of cardboard before, he was disqualified at gunpoint.

Brassica Chin drove to Lost Locust, Nevada, to compete in the bull riding event in the local rodeo. She didn’t win any medals, but she and the bull parted on good terms. She agreed to stop annoying him, and he agreed to stop trying to kill her.

On her way home, while driving through a lonely part of Nevada (the only kind there is), Brassica abducted aliens. They were green and less than a foot tall. When she scooped them up and put them on the front seat of her car, they just stood there looking forlorn. Their verdant complexions led her to guess chlorophyll was involved and that their unhappiness was due to a yearning to sunbath.

So Brassica drove them to Las Vegas (see Fig. 1) and dropped them off poolside at a big luxury hotel. They had the place to themselves and were smiling (she thinks) when she last saw them.

Figure 1. Las Vegas, presumably entertaining tiny green sunbathers.*

Annabella Kowalski went to Noti, Oregon, to enjoy her pet hobby, skunkspotting. She was having a blast, adding several species to her life list, until a spotted skunk she spotted spotted her. (See Fig. 2.) More experienced now, Annabella will be back soon, telling us about the Smelt.

Figure 2. Western spotted skunk, looking innocent.

Phyllicida Thronk went to Cannibal Mountain to do some ballroom dancing at Shaggy’s Saloon. There she happened to hook up with Wumpy (see above), and the pair cut a rug each night of their vacation.

Bud and Bonnie Klondike showed no signs of easing up on their honeymoon.

Dzunukwa is a Sasquatch witch, and how one of these spends her time is a mystery. We are all better off for it.

Eric Sallee and Dave Baldwin worked on the first draft of the screenplay of the Rubbery Shrubbery blog. They report considerable progress, believe it or not.

* Photo by Lasvegaslover (from Wikipedia).

Next time: We’ve been so engrossed in the exciting things happening in Yachats that we haven’t paid attention to the impact the Smelt are having on other communities near and far. Harrison Grutch will help us pay attention next time.

NOTE: Brassica is concerned about the well-being of her green friends and would like to hear from them—just to know they’re all right. She assumes they have some kind of quasi-quantum means of communication that lies just slightly above and to the left of the partition function of topological field theory. At any rate, please call her.

NOTE AGAIN: Eric Sallee and Dave Baldwin are wondering who should play Brassica Chin and Wumpy Mugwump in the screen version of Rubbery Shrubbery. If you have any suggestions regarding actors who should play any of the RS personages, please let Eric and Dave hear about them at the bottom of this post. They prefer living performers.